I stood next to the Castner Glacier, its ice bridge forming a tunnel that he walked under but I did not. I stood on the creek side, looking at the glacial walls, silver and bronze ice ridges dripping water into the stream.
I stood on the creek side, looking beyond at the solid white peaks of the Delta Range waiting for the six-foot-four human that once inhabited my womb to emerge unharmed.
Glaciers begin to form when snow remains in the same area year round, where enough snow accumulates to transform into ice. Each year, new layers of snow bury and compress the previous layers. This compression forces the snow to recrystallize, initially forming grains similar to the size and shape of sugar grains.
Children are like glaciers. They have a base of genetic snow, upon which their personality forms via accumulated layers of experiences placed first by family and then teachers, mentors, and friends. Formed by alternating periods of intense storms and sunny calm, their personalities solidify like ice rivers, advance and retreat, push and move, heave and calve, drastically shaping in return the parents who first shaped them.
Parents are the mountains cleaved and carved by their children’s formation and advance. Their melting and refreezing. Their scraping and eroding. We change because of them, becoming more rugged and beautiful. Etched and strong. Scarred and weary, but better and wise. I am more tempered and empathetic because I’ve had children. I am more self-aware: children are a mirror held up to expose the ugly, messy beauty that is the human parent. Through their eyes and experiences we see what needs to change in ourselves because of what we’ve created in them, for better or worse.
Who would I be today had I not had children? A lesser human, I’m sure. A mountain without a glacier.
Glacier Power – How do Glaciers Move?
If you are a parent of an adult child, did this resonate? If so, tell me why.
Things That Nourished My Writing: June 30 - October 5
FOOD
The Queen Anne Farmers Market. I live for stone fruit.
Fresh ground almond butter from PCC.
LITERARY
Stacks and stacks of want-to-read New Yorkers.
Whole Food Cooking Every Day by Amy Chaplin
MUSIC
Going Home by Tristan Eckerson
Anything by Loretta Lynn. We shared a birthday. RIP.
We also listened to some Willie Nelson this summer and I discovered Allen Toussaint.
I’ve been pretty good about practicing my guitar lately.
PLACES
Alaska. Beautiful. Magical. America’s own Iceland.
ACTIVITIES
Swimming in Lake Washington with Will and Bria.
Paddle boarding on Lake Union with dogs named Leo and Moose.
Writing about food at Strawberries & Milk.
Building a house.
Undoubtedly true. I’m learning to forgive and seek forgiveness of my parents, myself and my children. My vanity desires to be a master over this but my humility knows I shall forever be a student.